A Gorgeous Sunny Weekend

Ben working on our new walkway

Barrett was helping Daddy shovel out the stone

The girls in their first "photo shoot"

Awe...so precious.

This past weekend was a busy one. Ben was helping with the girls, me, AND working out side while entertaining Barrett. Whoa. He decided to begin on the walkway project because of the upcoming "meet the twins" party. He wants everything looking tip top when that day arrives. I think he is doing a great job!

My recovery has been going much better. A few days after posting, I got a few other symptoms that made me realize that what was going on was the flu on top of surgery recovery. So needless to say, I felt a little silly when I was heading to the drs. office. I still have some flu sysmptoms, but I'm getting better every day. The last three nights I've had those gross night sweats where your hormones are balancing out and the fluids are leaving your body. Those have been some gross nights, but it has helped with the swellign tremendously. Back to the drs. appointment...it initally got switched from Friday to Monday because of all these extra sysmptoms I was having. My dr. said that she wanted me to move it. So first thing Monday morning I called in and canceled my Friday appointment and scheduled one for that day. Ben had taken another day off from work to escort me there, too. When we get there and finally settle into the room, the nurse says that I am here to talk about post-partum depression. Ben and I look at each other and immediately said "no". Then she asked "would anxiety be a better word?" and I said NO! My dr. had taken what I had said on the phone and turned it into something completely different. I felt betrayed. At the hospital they give you a list of things to look for and if any of these symptoms appear then call the dr. All last week that is what I did, but in turn all I got was "oh, that's normal" and "you must be anxious about this...you must have post-partum depression". Why do they even bother with a list? I was more annoyed the more I thought about it. I even had a dream last night that I was yelling at my dr. about all of this. What if something was seriously wrong? They wouldn't even notice. To top it off, the nurse informs me that this appointment does not replace the previously scheduled appointment, so I need to reschedule that one. So I have to go back again next Tuesday for an incision check (which they did do yesterday)...it's just frustrating because next Tuesday Ben will be at work and I'll have the girls to move around with me...that much more work. Ugh!

Enough complaining. Sorry. There is a lot to be happy about right now, so I'll just keep focusing on that. The girls are doing great. The nights are sometimes really rough with the rotation of crying, but we're are making it through just fine. Some night are better than others. :)

Recovery is not so much fun

It has been over a week now and my body is still in so much pain. I'm not sure how "normal" any of this is since I have nothing to compare it to, but I keep having to call my dr. about once a day with a new symptom. It all started with my swollen feet and ankles. They were swollen near the end of my pregnancy, but now they are out of control. I can't even wear flip flops. The only shoes that fit are my crocs. When I called the dr. they just told me to keep drinking fluids and the swelling should be gone in about a week or two. Then yesterday I was told I could take my tape off of my incision (this tape that they put on after taking the staples out), so I took the tape off and I noticed that part of my incision was open. After describing the opening to my dr. all she said was that it would heal on its own. Then to top it off, last night we were up with the girls from about 1 am to 6 am. It was during this time (around 3 am) that I felt like I was burning up. I took my temp. and I had a fever of 100.6! I called the dr. (they said anything over 100.4 needs to be of concern) and she said to keep checking it and if the temp persists then I need to go to the ER in the morning. She also wants to have me come in to the office on Monday instead of Friday like scheduled. This morning I took my temp again and the fever seems to be gone (whew). To make it all seem more overwhelming, it still hurts to sit up and move around, my hands hurt (they seem tight and it is hard to open bottles, etc.), part of my stomach is numb all the time (can't feel a thing...it's weird), and I sometimes feel a cool sensation in my back when I bend over. I'm glad that the dr. will see me sooner rather than later, because my instincts are telling me that this all can't be normal c-section recovery. The dr. last night on the hone asked me if I was at my wits end and I said "kind of". Honestly, the stress has nothing to do with taking care of two babies (that is the easy part), but my body seems to be falling apart. That's why I feel at my wits end. I just want my body to feel like it's starting to heal, yet it doesn't. It feels like it is getting worse.

My swollen foot

(Ben told me that people don't want to see my feet, but you can't fully understand until you see them...sorry if you're grossed out by my foot)

One Week Old

Barrett holding Lauren

Lauren and Raina getting some tummy time.

This is their favorite place right now. Gotta love those swings!

The girls are one week old today. It's hard to believe that it has already been a week and that my surgery was that long ago. It's one of those weird things where it feels like the births were just yesterday and yet it feels like it has been years, too. We came home on Tuesday and had a few visitors and the girls seemed to sleep the entire time. The first night home was a different story. Lauren would not stop crying and nothing seemed to soothe her. Raina would then start to cry just because Lauren was crying. It was a night where you seem to try everything and nothing is working. I realized that night that I can't sleep in my own bed because it is flat and I can't get out of bed once I am in it. SO, I have been sleeping on the couch (the recliner part of it). The first night home, the girls ended up sleeping on me most of the night. I just propped them up with lots of pillows and we all snoozed. It worked. The next day we had to take them to the dr. They both got weighed in an Raina was now at 6 lbs. 4 oz. (she was down to 6 lbs. in the hospital. so this was a good weight) and Lauren weighed in at 5 lbs. 14 oz. Lauren's weight was a bit alarming and so the dr. gave us syringes to fill with formula to use during feedings. We go in today for another weigh-in. I have opted to not use the syringes though because I found that they didn't work that well, so instead I have been feeding both girls and then following each feeding with a feeding of formula. It seems to be working well. They both seem to be eating well and pooping well too (which the dr. says is the key to knowing how much the babies are really eating). I'm hoping their weights have improved. The last few nights have been much better than the first. They seem to sleep between feedings and they are now sleeping in their crib. :) I think that the extra food is helping the girls. They get a fuller feeding and they seem less fussy for it. At this point I do not think I am producing enough for them to breastfeed exclusively, but to be honest with you this extra bottle stuff is kind of nice, because Ben (or others) are able to get bonding time and it takes some of the work off of me. Overall the first week with the girls has been a wonderful, blurry, happy time. We are very blessed.

The Twins Have Arrived!!!

Our family of five

Lauren Christine (she had an IV in her left arm) and Raina Susan in their hospital cribs

The girls in their "going home" outfits (Raina on left and Lauren on right)

Leaving the hospital

The girls are now 5 days old. Here is their delivery tale...

Friday April 11th was our scheduled c-section. We had to be at the hospital at 8 am for delivery time to be at 10 am. We dropped Barrett off at Papa and Grandma's and then headed to the hospital. On the way we were talking about how weird it felt to not be in any pain and simply going to the hospital to have the babies. Just to think that in a few hours we would be meeting our babies. It was during the drive that Ben switched radio stations and the song that I heard instantly made me weep. It was "You Gotta Be" by Des'Ree...this was my mom's fighting song and it always makes me think of her. Ben held my hand and said that she's looking down on me and she's thinking of me. She was going to make the day great and make sure we all came out of this healthy and happy. I think I needed to hear that song that morning. We shortly thereafter arrived at the hospital. We were thinking that the 2 hour wait would be just that a wait, but not so much. They put us in a room, had us fill out paperwork, suited Ben up, introduced us to several doctors and nurses, etc. It was a busy, crazy 2 hours. We had no time to think about what was about to happen. Soon enough they wisked me off to the OR. It was a strange feeling walking into this sterile room filled with so many people and looking around at the two baby stations and the hustle bustle of all the people. They then had me sit on the operating table hunched over a pillow to help with my spinal. The first (yes, I said first) spinal they tried giving me didn't take (this was realized after several sharp pains and weird sensations pulsating my back), so I heard the 2nd dr. say to the other that they were going to have to start over. The good thing about that was that as soon as the 2nd dr. gave me my second spinal it took almost instantly. If you've never had this done it is the strangest feeling ever. This strange sensation ran down both of my legs and then I couldn't feel anything. The drs. check your pain/nerves with cold wipes and sharp needles by rubbing/poking your arms first to let you know what they want you to feel (don't want you to feel) in other body locations and then they do the same in the other locations. This was all fine and dandy and so onward they went. I requested to have a mirror. This worked out wonderfully as I could see everything, but the cutting. It was during the prep time with the mirror up that I looked in the mirror and saw that I was laying on the table completely naked and the drs. were giving me a nice shave. So silly. I also realized that I was naked in front of many people that I have never even met. One nurse asked me if it was okay for my husband to come in at that moment or if I wanted him to wait until the drape was up. What a silly question to me, because my husband has seen me naked (well...duh) as where all of these other people have not. :) Ben came in and it was so quick after that. They quickly told Ben that it would be any moment (we had told everyone that we wanted Ben to be the one who announced the genders) and I looked into the mirror. I saw the first baby (Raina) pop out and I instantly saw that it was a girl and I started to cry. I heard Ben make the announcement and then he gave me a kiss. Two minutes later I saw Lauren's foot pop out along with some umbilical cord. She didn't want to come right our and then I felt the drs. pushing and pulling all over the place. Next thing I see is Lauren's head pop out. She was first breech then they pushed her enough that her head came out first instead. At any rate, Ben made the announcment and I cried even harder. I never would have predicted two girls in a million years. People had actually asked me that during the pregnancy and I said I just don't think it's going to be two girls. But man, I was so excited to have two girls. I know Ben is worried about keeping the future boys away, but he is still so excited to have daddy's little girls. Anyway, the c-section simply was not over just yet. Raina was born at 10:12 am and Lauren was born at 10:14 am, but I didn't leave the OR until closer to 11:30 am. I just had to lay there while they finished sewing and stapling me up. I guess I had some arteries that wouldn't stop bleeding so they had to do some extra work on my uterus (which at one point was on my stomach according to Ben). It was while I laid there that Ben brought the girls over to me so I could meet them. Then a dr. came over and told me that Lauren wasn't doing so well and that they were going to take her to the nursery. Surgery wrapped up and they wheeled me over to the recovery room. I had to be in this room for about 2 hours. They put me on so many medicines throughout the morning that it was during this time that I got the shakes really bad and I felt really groggy. I got to nurse Raina for the first time during this time, too. After the 2 hours they wheeled me to the nursery so I could see Lauren and then I went to my private room. At this time Lauren was on extra oxygen, but they already knew that she would be going to the NICU. A few hours after settling in the room, Lauren was sent to the NICU and put on the CPAP (it helps to push more oxygen into the lungs and get rid of the fluid in them). That night I was unable to go see her, but Ben, along with all the grandparents, went up to visit her. The next morning, Ben and I went up to see her and by the time I got to her she was already off of the CPAP and being taken off all machines. She would be coming down to be with us in a matter of hours!! This was such exciting news. We just didn't feel right without both of them together with us. We are very fortunate that her stay in the NICU was so short lived. Once Lauren was back with us, the rest of the hospital stay went along fine. We had many visitors and loved introducing our new girls to everyone. Raina and Lauren are both doing great. Barrett seems to be adjusting well, too. He's going to be a great big brother and already kisses them often. He wants to help out all the time and hold the babies. We have such a great family and we are so truly happy!

Barrett @ 19 Months

My little man is growing up. Here are his stats @ 19 months:

--Still sucks his thumb and loves his "ba, ba" (blankie)
--He only seems to suck his thumb when he has his blankie (there is one and only one specific blankie...no substitute will do)
--He weighs about 30 lbs.
--His favorite words are moo (for cow), meow (for cat), brum-brum (for any vehicle), toda (for Koda), and momma.
--He also says dadda, papa, and up, but not as often.
--He is growing out of most 18 month clothing and wears mostly 24 month or 2T clothes.
--He wears a size 6 shoe
--He loves to wrestle
--He's very ticklish (he's got one great giggle, too)
--He is very social and will play with any kid
--He can be shy of adults at first, though
--He's a great dancer and has quite the rhythm
--He sleeps in a toddler bed and goes to bed on his own as soon as we say "let's go to nigh, nigh".
--He sleeps from about 8 pm until about 7 am every night
--He loves books, especially those with animals or vehicles
--He loves being outside (he would be outside all the time if it were possible)
--He's working on the whole jumping thing right now...can't quite catch air, but looks like it may be soon
--He runs everywhere!!
--He's going to be such a wonderful big brother and often rubs my belly saying "baby". I don't think he understands the whole idea that there are two, though. :)

And I thought I had a big belly the first time around!!!!

37 weeks 2 days pregnant with Barrett

37 weeks 1 day pregnant with twins! It's getting crazier and crazier!!

37 weeks -- Full Term

Well, here we are...full term and still pregnant. They say that most twins are born at 37 weeks and indeed these babies will be here before next weekend. Crazy! Last night I was up for a little over 2 hours with contractions every 3 minutes. I showered, drank water, and nothing was stopping them, but then I feel asleep. I woke up in the morning feeling a little let down, because I was starting to get all excited that today would be the day. Needless to say I have been outside today (the sun is shining and it is so warm for this time of year) doing some walking and gardening and some chasing after Barrett. I am now very sore and need a nap. :) Maybe the activity will spur some more action, though. I know I shouldn't rush things, but the aches are getting to me. Earlier today Barrett climbed into his stroller and I squatted down to boost the seat for him and I couldn't stand back up. Ben had to come over and help me up. :( All in all we have less than a week, so that still is very exciting to think about!!!